Greetings! I’m here to give you all a reminder that our gorillas are gearing up for their anti-hair protest march down the Manhattan streets, which starts tomorrow, 8/5 and continues Thursday, 8/6. The press is already going ‘wild’ with anticipation, and so are we. (Seriously, someone has been playing King Kong on a loop in our cafeteria since yesterday.)
So don’t forget to keep an eye out for our simian street team at spots like Sephora in Times Square (42nd and 7th), Crunch gym on Lafayette Street, and every subway, park and naked cowboy in between. Sure, your initial reaction upon spotting a bikini-clad ape might be to bolt in the other direction—but when you know he’s handing out special offers for 20% off signature brazilian bikini waxes at our spas, and 20% off fuzz-fighting and body-toning bestsellers in-spa and online, we recommend chasing down that monkey suit for your chance at a de-fuzzing discount.
In the spirit of our anti-fur campaign, I’d to ask you readers a hair-removal-related question, just for fun: